New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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