You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
