yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
