I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
