Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Acid is not a monday night drug
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
