I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
