I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
