You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
