I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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