these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
