"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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