Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
