I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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