For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
