areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If I die, sorry about rent.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize