Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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