do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
