Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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