Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
