I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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