just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
