Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Acid is not a monday night drug
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
