ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude i'm inner monologue high
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
