i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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