And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize