Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
3 2 1 whiskey
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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