I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
