i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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