I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
