I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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