He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
