Christians are straight up FREAKS
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
