I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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