I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
