i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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