I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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