My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
