Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
