Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
