I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
