Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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