these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
