I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
