You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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