i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
