haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize