drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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