Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
