We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
