I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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