do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
