I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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