My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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