dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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