I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
