Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Less talking, more tequila
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
