you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
