Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
