shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
