tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
