i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ketchup is God's man juice
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize